Chapter 309: Chapter 309
Silence was held by his throat as a shrieking yell reverberated through his disturbed soul.
The son of the Duke, his steps drove him away from his father’s presence with a calmness that instead of relieving was filled with distressing grim for any who witnessed.
The hush in his buzzing mind was well kept as well as his strides did... Until the tranquil closure of his quarter’s door occurred by his managed hands.
"....." — His golden eyes stared intently at his feet in a brief action to settle the feigned control he had barely maintained in a corner of his chest, so his outrage could explode, burning the strained lungs of the young master.
’Married?’ — Paul’s first thought finally emerged. Invoking a dishonest grin to emerge with his next mumblings. — "Heh... Haha... She can’t."
A strong swallow ripped his dry mouth as he stomped inside, searching for anything his hand could lay and break that nobody would learn had been broken. Nonetheless, the frantic eyes could not find anything near. And bending over the back of the seat to muffle his desperate yell, Paul gripped the back of the couch to let his veins pop at the strain his rage was causing on his vocal cords and disturbed psyche.
"AAAAAAAHHHHGHHHGGHRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!!!!!" — ’SHE CAN’T SHE CAN’T SHE CAN’TTTTT!!!!!!!!’
Even as he was trying to be careful not to leave a trace of the rage he was screaming, his nails still scratched the wood he held ferociously strong as his energy depleted... Momentarily.
"GASP!... she can’t..." — Raising in a flash... Paul mumbled much calmer after hastily gasping for air.
"My... My Marianne cannot..... No other man can have her..... O-only..."
’These hands... Only these hands I own should...’ — He thought. Swallowing thirsty as the image of his Sister’s skin was recalled... As well as the majestic feel of its smoothness under his fingers.
"Marianne... Marianne... Why aren’t you here....."
His eyes stared at the hands that wished to touch her holding the fist close to his longing edges. Yet the strong golden hues drifted to the wall next to his mattress, one that held memories for both siblings.
"..... I should have kept you there longer so you could understand..." — He then said, sad about his past decisions.
The time he had spent away from her had brought peace to the woman but robbed him of any control or chain his sickening feelings had amassed when he at least had her near.
His gaze would drift many times from his duty to think of her. And his visits to the training grounds augmented so the violence her absence provoked in his core as he missed her could be dealt with in the gain of more skill and power along the deathly slashes of his sword.
Illusioning that the target of the multiple strikes was the man that kept taking her away to link arms with her frail beauty as he shamelessly did the day Paul had thought would be marvellous as he would finally be able to lay sight on her... Take her hand..... Sniff and cleanse his lungs with the pure scent he kept dreaming about while visiting her bedroom every cursed night she did not sleep under their Household’s roof.
Yet even such activities needed to be restrained. For even in his devoted state of mind to Marianne... He had noticed...
Eyes were on him. Those the Duke had placed to keep watch of his doings.
"....."
In his instincts he could discern that something was not right. That there was someone lurking and taking attentive note of his behaviour.
Paul was fine with it at first. As long as it wouldn’t hinder his closeness to the goddess reigning his thoughts... He would behave. He would wait properly. So whoever’s eyes were on him would not suspect.
Nonetheless.
’I couldn’t.’ — Cracking his own hands as he clenched them from frustration while the remembrance of those few days Marianne remained under the same roof was felt in his vesselss.
’I couldn’t even touch my Marianne... My dear and lovely sister...’ — Eventually, Paul groaned inside as a heated puff of air left his shaken chest.
"All because of that cursed dirty knight." — The disgusted man said through his teeth.
Nervous walk around his room was all he could do during those days. Anxious stays at his office as he couldn’t ignore how the continuous aura of not only Marianne’s... But also the distasteful youngest sister’s knight too kept his intent to visit either of them in check.
And although the wish to visit Marianne’s chambers was born from the wrong feelings he kept...
"Only one chance... And I’ll break that brainless kid’s head for hurting her." — If he was to visit either of his sisters... harm would be dealt. Although with different outcomes and intentions.
His memories would never forfeit the scene. And his strangled ways would never forgive Theressa’s doings that day. Merely because, with her stupid fascination for the man trying to steal his beloved sister... She had helped him share the time and touch meant for himself to enjoy from Marianne.
’Her hand should have wrapped around my arm. I am who should have taken her to her chambers... And rested with her. Caressed her hair and accepted her smiles and hugs... They should all be mine.....’
"But Marianne knows this. Hah... Haha... That day she protected me, telling me to leave so that selfish man wouldn’t harm me with his place in society..." — Paul said. Completely convinced with reasons he crafted with wretched thoughts.
The shock of her glare had made him falter strongly back then. Yet his mind worked in his favour, creating motives that had no reason to be truthful in Marianne’s attitude when hissing inwardly her warnings not to touch Theressa.
However, the praised sister’s true intentions did not matter to his desperate needs.
"I know... I know it, my dear Marianne... Ah~... I could see it. How desperately your love for me moved you to act like that... It’s fine, my Marianne... I’ll do something about all of this."
’We will be together.’ — Opening the hidden door on that wall he had stared at before, Paul smiled. Kneeling to take in his fingers the strands of a young child that had a long time laying on that dirty ground.
"Once we are together... Nothing will separate us... My beloved Marianne..." — His hand brought the dirty strands to his nose so he could inhale its scent as passionately as he wished to do with her real self. — "We will dance... Laugh..... You will hug me... Ah..."
Imagining the life that could not be, Paul smiled, daydreaming about a relationship that his sickly mind had created. A relationship that would never be... Because it was immoral... Because she despised him... Because it did not and couldn’t exist.
’Maybe..... By then we will finally kiss... My dear... Oh, so dear Goddess... My loved Marianne...’