Chapter 47: Simple
Chapter 46
Nolan
"What?!"
The word rips out of me, ragged and raw, louder than I mean it to be. But how else am I supposed to respond to something this—this insane?
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? That’s your lover!"
Ciel just stands there, calm as ever, with that infuriating little scoff. That tiny tilt of his chin that says he thinks he’s already won the argument before it even starts.
"You think I’m a fucking idiot, don’t you?" he says softly, but the bite underneath is sharp as broken glass.
"Nolan, I’ve been lusted after my whole life. My whole life. If there’s one emotion I can recognize—even with my eyes closed—it’s when someone wants to fuck someone."
The words hit me like a slap.
I should shout back. Should tell him he’s wrong, but the way his golden eyes fix on me bright, unwavering, certain, I feel the bottom drop out of my stomach.
I look away, ashamed. My jaw tightens.
"No, Ciel. It’s not..." My voice cracks. "It’s not like that."
"Oh really?" His lips curve into a mocking half-smile. "Really?"
***
Ciel
It’s almost funny, watching Nolan try to deny what we both know is true. He really thought I couldn’t see it—me, of all people? I’ve spent my life being stared at, pawed at, desired like a jewel in a marketplace.
I know the weight of a gaze. I know when hunger is in the air.
And Nolan... he isn’t subtle.
Folding my arms. "It’s obvious. Everywhere. Every time. Each interaction you two have, I can feel it. Each time Jack kisses me, I can feel your eyes burning holes into us."
Nolan flinches.
"You want him, Nolan. Don’t you dare lie to me."
His mouth opens, closes, his throat working like he’s choking down words.
"I’ve seen it," I continue, relentless. "The way you watch him in the gym. The way your gaze lingers when he bends. I’ve seen you look at his arms, his chest, his V-line. More importantly—his bulge."
"Stop," Nolan mutters, voice low, dangerous.
"Hm?" I tilt my head. "You want me to stop? Even though I haven’t gotten to the best part? Like the day I came into the laundry room and I caught you sniff—"
"Stop!" His voice cracks like a whip, harsh enough to sting my ears.
The silence after feels thick, ugly.
He drops his gaze, ashamed, shoulders rigid. "I get it," he whispers. "I get your point."
***
Nolan
My hands won’t stop shaking.
God. He knows. He knows.
And the worst part? He isn’t even angry. He isn’t screaming at me, isn’t telling me to get the fuck out of the house. He’s just looking at me.
Those golden eyes, gentle and devastating, seeing too much. I forget as well as I know Ciel, he knows me just as much.
"I’m sorry, Ciel." My voice comes out hoarse. I wring my hands together, clenching so hard my knuckles ache.
"I don’t... I didn’t mean to hurt you."
He kneels in front of me suddenly, the way he always does when he wants me to listen. Like when we were younger. Like when I’d cry and he’d grab my face and tell me to breathe. His hands cover mine now, warm and steady.
"I’m not mad," he says softly. "I’m not. Look at him, look at Jack. It’s hard not to be attracted to him."
His lips twitch into the faintest smile.
"But you know as well as I do, what makes Jack dangerous isn’t his physical appearance. It’s his soul
. He’s already handsome, but that nature of his? It multiplies him by a thousand."Something inside me twists, and I don’t know if it’s relief or devastation.
"I’m sorry," I whisper again. "It’s just—you’re with him. And I..."
Ciel shakes his head, cutting me off.
"Nollie. Don’t you like this place? This environment? When was the last time we had this? A home. Safety. Peace. It’s been years."
I look away, jaw tight.
"You always said you wanted us to have a home," he continues, voice low and persuasive.
"Well we have it now. Shouldn’t we defend it?"
My chest feels heavy. "What does that have to do with me sleeping with Jack?"
***
Ciel
I watch the war play out in his expression—the disbelief, the fury, the shame. He still doesn’t see it. He still doesn’t understand.
"Jack likes me. He likes Lanny. He doesn’t mind our presence here. But Jack is also a man. Not just any man—an alpha. It’s built into them to want sex." I pause, watching his throat bob as he swallows.
"He doesn’t mind now. But how long is that going to last?"
Nolan shakes his head, muttering, "You’re overthinking."
I lean closer. "Am I? What happens when someone else comes along? Someone new, shiny, untouched. Someone who doesn’t come with baggage? Do you think a new lover would tolerate us here? Me? You? The baby?"
His jaw clenches.
"Exactly," I murmur.
"This peace—it’s fragile. If Jack leaves, everything collapses. I can’t lose him."
***
Nolan
He’s spiraling. I can see it. But what scares me most is the way his words are crawling under my skin, digging hooks into my ribs.
"Ciel—"
"This morning," he interrupts, voice deadly calm, "Jack received a text."
My stomach sinks.
"I didn’t want to go through his phone," he admits, guilt flickering across his face. "But something told me to. It was a naked picture. From a beautiful man."
I freeze.
"But Jack wouldn’t..." The protest dies halfway out of me.
"I know," Ciel says quickly.
"I scrolled. He’s been texting himself in that chat. But further back—there’s history. They had something once. Sexual. Maybe more. I don’t know how serious it was. But it was there."
My stomach twists violently at the thought of Jack with someone else.
"And what happens," Ciel presses, voice rising, "if that man keeps pushing? Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But a few weeks from now? A few months?"
I shut my eyes, jaw aching.
"Let me get this straight," I grit out, trying to ground myself in logic.
"You’re asking me—your best friend, a beta—to sleep with your alphalover because you can’t, and you’re afraid he might go back to his old fling?"
"Yes." His voice doesn’t waver.
I bark out a laugh, sharp and humorless. "That’s absurd."
"Do you have an alternative?" Ciel shoots back instantly.
"What do you want me to do? Force myself to go all the way with him? Tear myself apart just to keep him satisfied?"
"Of course not!" I snap, heart pounding. "Don’t you dare say that."
"Then what, Nollie?" His voice cracks on my name. "What else is there? You’re attracted to him. You think I don’t see it? Why not?"
"Because he’s your lover!"
"And I’d rather it be you than someone else," he snaps back, eyes blazing, raw and desperate.
The silence that follows is deafening.
***
Ciel
Nolan keeps quiet, but I can see the war raging in him. His fists clench, his chest rises and falls too fast, and his eyes ,those clear, ocean-blue eyes are wide with horror and something else.
He doesn’t understand. This isn’t betrayal. This is survival. Jack is ours now. He is the cornerstone of this fragile peace, and I refuse to let him slip away. If I can’t give him what he needs, then Nolan will. It’s that simple.