Chapter 63: Changed man
Chapter 62
Jack
After Nolan leaves the room, I get back to my bed and sit on the edge, covering my face with both hands.
A groan rumbles out of me, raw and low.
It’s my fault. All of it.
I should’ve stopped it earlier—should’ve shut down the teasing before it shifted into something else. But for some stupid reason, I let it drag on. Let him linger in my orbit. Let the tension build, knowing damn well it wasn’t harmless anymore.
And now? Now I’ve managed the impossible.
I’ve hurt them both.
Ciel, my sunshine, the person who has given me more than I ever thought I deserved. And Nolan—his best friend, his other half, the one tethered to him in ways I can never understand.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I rake my fingers through my damp hair, tugging hard enough to sting, like maybe pain will pull me out of this mess. But it doesn’t. Nothing does.
The truth is ugly, and it sits heavy in my chest: I wanted it.
And it’s poisoned everything.Now Nolan’s looking at me like I ripped him apart, and Ciel—God, if Ciel knew what almost happened tonight...
I drop back onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling like it has answers.
"Fuck," I whisper again, the word scraping out of me.
I’ve made a mess.
*
I’ve been avoiding Ciel all day. I hope he hasn’t noticed.
I just need to get my thoughts straight before anything else. I can’t look him in the eye because of the guilt.
And Nolan? I haven’t seen a single strand of his hair since last night. Probably for the best.
I head back into my room and collapse onto the bed, exhaustion sinking into my bones. Sleep deprivation is eating at me; I didn’t close my eyes for more than a minute last night.
Darkness takes me fast.
*
Fuckit that feels good.
"That’s it," I murmur, my voice hoarse with pleasure. What a sight.
I blink blearily, expecting dream-phantoms, but this isn’t a dream at all.
Between my legs is Ciel. The real Ciel not dream Ciel.
His lips wrapped around me. His golden eyes half-lidded, lashes brushing his cheeks, his mouth moving with slow, deliberate intent.
My pulse slams against my ribs.
"Sunshine—what’s going on?" I rasp, leaning up on an elbow, trying to catch my breath.
He pulls back, lips wet, a thread of spit glistening before breaking. His tongue flicks against his lower lip as he looks up at me.
"Want me to stop?" he asks softly. His eyes lock with mine, golden and unflinching, framed by scarlet lashes.
"No," I say instantly, before I can even think. The word leaves me raw, honest.
A smile ghosts across his lips small, knowing, dangerous.
Then he leans forward again.
My hand finds his hair instinctively, tangling in the silken strands. My breath hitches.Definetly this is not a dream. This is real. Every wet glide, every hot pull, every flick of his tongue it’s real.
"Sunshine..." I groan, my head falling back against the pillow. My hips twitch, fighting not to thrust up into him, not to lose myself completely.
He hums around me, and the vibration shoots straight through my spine, scattering every thought I had left. My hand fists in his hair on instinct, tugging him closer before I catch myself and force my grip to loosen.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’m not about to jinx it by questioning too hard.
And then—he does something that knocks the breath out of me.
He sinks lower. Past the point most people would have stopped. Past the point I know should be impossible.
Until he takes me all the way. To the base.
My eyes widen. My hips jerk, a strangled sound tearing out of me.
Impossible. Absolutely impossible.
Because I’m not small. Not even close.
But he doesn’t gag. Doesn’t flinch. His throat just relaxes around me, steady and controlled, like he was born to do this.
I stare down at him, dumbfounded, my chest heaving. Scarlet hair spills over my thighs, golden eyes flicking up at me, burning with something wild. He looks like sin and salvation wrapped together.
He pulls back slowly, deliberately, saliva glistening along my length, before sliding forward again in one smooth motion that makes my vision go white.
I didn’t know he could do this.
I didn’t know anyone could do this. Outside bad pornos, but that’s different because for those it’s their job.
I choke out, hips jerking despite myself as he swallows me down again. Heat coils low in my gut, snapping tight, impossible to hold back. His eyes lock on mine, daring, golden and unrelenting. That look alone ruins me.
I grip his hair too hard, groaning as the wave crashes over me. Release tears through me, hot, overwhelming, spilling straight into his throat.
Ciel doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t pull away. He swallows everything, steady, deliberate, until I’m shaking, collapsing back against the pillows.
I stare down at him, chest heaving, stunned and undone.
"Sunshine," I rasp. "What the hell..."
He pulls away, lips glistening, wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb like he just conquered the world. And honestly? He has.
"Do you want access to my bank accounts?" I ask, dead serious.
Ciel blinks. Then he laughs—bright, wicked, the sound slicing straight through my chest. "What?"
"I’m not joking," I mutter, still trying to catch my breath. "You want my passwords, the PINs, the deed to the house? Name it. It’s yours."
His grin widens, golden eyes glowing with mischief.
"What if I want it all?" he teases, tilting his head, scarlet hair tumbling like a flame.
"Okay," I agree without hesitation.
His smile falters, the laughter catching in his throat as he studies my face. I’m not joking, and he can see it laid bare in the way I look at him, the way my chest rises and falls like I’ve just run miles, but it’s worse my life is changed.
Let him take it all, and throw me onto the streets for all I care.