Chapter 178 You Can Continue to Hate Me
Tan Zheng didn't even frown as blood trickled down his temple. He pushed away the nurse who approached to tend to his wound and walked step by step towards Xi Jinjiang. Chang Li, however, was not entirely in favor. "Tan Zheng, he'll hurt you." Cheng Ling pulled Chang Li back. The latter looked at him in confusion, but Cheng Ling merely lifted his chin, gesturing for him to watch what Tan Zheng was about to do.
Xi Jinjiang noticed the blood on Tan Zheng's temple. His pupils constricted, and after a brief flinch, anger reignited in his eyes. He looked around for something he could use to attack Tan Zheng, but apart from a vase, everything else was small. He hurled them at Tan Zheng in a frenzy. This time, the man didn't even bother to dodge. Only when Xi Jinjiang had nothing left to throw did Tan Zheng speak. "Had enough?" To a psychiatrist, these words were like a landmine. How could one speak like that to someone with a mental illness? Cheng Ling promptly pulled Chang Li, who was about to intervene again, outside.
"Cheng Ling, what are you doing?"
"Let him handle it himself."
"He's provoking the patient."
"He knows what he's doing."
"Who is the lead doctor, you or me?"
"Tan Zheng's wife is a long-time friend of mine."
"...Then tell me quickly about your good friend. How did she manage to win over Tan Zheng? She's even more amazing than Ji Sang."
"...Are you just abandoning your patient like this?"
"Tan Zheng knows what he's doing."
Indeed, gossip was everyone's nature, regardless of gender. In the ward, Tan Zheng also asked the nurse to leave before closing the door. "I know you can understand me." Xi Jinjiang, curled up in the corner of the bed, trembled and covered his ears, shaking his head, unwilling to listen to Tan Zheng. Tan Zheng casually pulled over a chair and sat a few meters away from Xi Jinjiang. "Today, I saw the data from the phone you smashed. You care quite a lot about my wife." "Was it to see what my wife looked like, or... to see how my married life is?" "When you heard it was a marriage of convenience, weren't you quite happy? Tan Zheng, reduced to such a situation, bound by this damned marriage. Marriage is a chain, a torment to me." "You say you hope I live well, hope I can be happy, but you don't really think that, do you? You wish I had nothing to do with my wife, wish we were strangers?" "You hate me for causing you to lose your legs, hate me for ruining the rest of your life, so you want me to be unhappy forever." Tan Zheng's deep eyes were fixed on the trembling Xi Jinjiang curled up in the corner, his gaze filled with profound, unfathomable emotion.
Xi Jinjiang kept shaking his head, his mouth open but speechless. He could only repeatedly pat his bandaged head with his hands. "If nothing had happened back then, you would have retired perfectly, left a good reputation in the racing world, gone with that woman, and lived your life peacefully." Xi Jinjiang suddenly stopped patting his head. He looked up blankly at the window. The vast, endless night. Weiwei had once said she liked watching stars from mountaintops. Seeing his reaction, Tan Zheng knew that Xi Jinjiang was still bothered by Yu Wei's abortion of his child and her heartless departure. "Do you want to know about Yu Wei's current situation?" Xi Jinjiang suddenly turned to look at Tan Zheng, his eyes vacant. The man's gaze darkened. "You're still thinking about that heartless woman." Xi Jinjiang hugged his head. "Yu Wei has left Xingcheng." Tears suddenly streamed from Xi Jinjiang's eyes. Tan Zheng rubbed his forehead, which was throbbing, only to get his hands full of blood. "Still thinking about that ungrateful woman?" Xi Jinjiang suddenly became agitated, hitting his broken leg with increasing force and severity. Tan Zheng only glanced at it and understood what Xi Jinjiang was thinking. Chang Li and Cheng Ling couldn't help him because he refused medical treatment. "Do you think she really left you because you broke your legs?" Tan Zheng, disregarding Xi Jinjiang's patient status, cruelly exposed the reality to him. Back then, Xi Jinjiang was immersed in the pain of losing his legs and his fiancée abandoning him, placing all blame on his broken legs, which he hated deeply. Xi Jinjiang stopped his frantic movements and looked up blankly at Tan Zheng, his eyes no longer as hollow. Tan Zheng furrowed his brow, recalling the information he had investigated over the years. "She's been with several men over the years, each older and uglier than the last. You still want to think about such a woman?" Xi Jinjiang's eyes widened, and he frantically shook his head, refusing to believe Tan Zheng's words, and kept shouting, "Weiwei," "Weiwei," "Weiwei." ...How could it be? His Weiwei wasn't that kind of person. Tan Zheng didn't intend to continue. He stood up, took a few steps closer to Xi Jinjiang, and bent down. "Regarding what happened back then, just continue to hate me. Hate me for the rest of your life. I don't want your forgiveness." Tan Zheng understood that Xi Jinjiang's pain lay in not hating him enough, wanting to forgive but being overwhelmed by physical and mental suffering. That's why he was tormented like this. He didn't aspire to his forgiveness; let it be. Being hated didn't stop him from living. After saying this, Tan Zheng left the ward. He told the nurse to go in and then went to the rooftop. He lit one cigarette after another. The snowy winter night was truly cold. Tan Zheng smoked until the pack was empty, his hair turned white, his clothes soaked, his limbs stiff, his eyes bloodshot, and the bloodstains on his face had already caked. Five years, he was also a bit tired. He never aspired to receive Xi Jinjiang's forgiveness. The race back then was supposed to be his, but there was a small accident. For the team's results, he had asked Xi Jinjiang, who was planning to retire, to participate in the race... For so many years, all he did was to hope Xi Jinjiang would live well. Only if Xi Jinjiang lived on could he continue to live. He didn't aspire to happiness for himself, but... he met Song Ni. The man casually swept away the snow on the ground and sat down. He looked up towards the east. How he missed his little girl, the one who often threw tantrums but would coax him with her charm, the vibrant little girl. What was she doing now? Was she thinking of him, just like him? It was a pity that Yu City had no snow; a snowy day would have suited his little girl perfectly. His clever little girl should have figured out where he was and what he was doing. How could his little girl be so obedient and considerate, not asking proactively if he didn't mention it. He had only pursued Miss Song for one day. He needed to finish things here soon and go back to win over his little girl. The sky was truly cold. Tan Zheng lay down on the ground, his eyelashes covered in snow, his vision gradually blurring. (End of chapter)