Chapter 42: I want you
Ezra could feel her stiffen in his arms, the atmosphere thick with unspoken tension, the silence enveloping them like a heavy fog. He had thought long and hard about what he needed to say, and he was determined to say it without wasting a moment.
To claim that the silence didn’t affect him would be a lie; she didn’t move or speak, and that only heightened his nerves.
He had never felt this way in his life, partly because he had never had to confess to anyone before—confessing his feelings to a woman was entirely new territory for him.
When she pulled away from his chest, turning to meet his gaze, his heart skipped a beat. He never imagined that could happen until this very moment. "You want me?" Evie asked, disbelief threaded through her voice as she looked at him.
"Yes," Ezra replied, his voice low and resolute. He noticed her lips part—was it shock or something else? He couldn’t be certain, but he could sense her disbelief at his words. "Listen, I’ve been grappling with these feelings," he began, eager to clarify himself if that’s what she needed.
"What feelings?" Evie demanded, impatience creeping into her voice. "Ezra, you can’t just suddenly want me." Her eyes burned with intensity.
"You ghosted me after we came back from Paris. You acted like it never happened, and I didn’t do anything wrong! You were cold, and now you abruptly say you want me, as if I’m just supposed to be available whenever it suits you?" she asserted, her voice laced with raw emotion.
Ezra remained silent, absorbing her words. And she appreciated that he was listening to her without interruption.
After a bit of silence, "I acknowledge that what I did wasn’t right, and I apologize. I’m sorry, Evie," he said, his voice softening, a tone she had never heard before.
Despite her lingering anger, something in his sincerity began to chip away at her resolve.
"I process things differently," he continued. "I know I’m not emotionally available, and I don’t communicate my feelings well. It’s not part of who I am. I’ve never had to do it before. When we were in Paris, I felt something that terrified me because it was unexpected and complicated given our relationship. But I kissed you out of sheer desire, and those feelings didn’t fade. I needed space to sort through it all. Now that I’ve worked through my emotions, I’m not running away from them."
Evie listened intently, struck by his openness. This was a side of Ezra she had never experienced. His vulnerability ignited a desire to forget the past. Yet her pride held her back. "What are your feelings now? I need to know—to hear your sincere feelings," she said.
Ezra leaned in closer, tucking her hair behind her ear with a tenderness that warmed her skin. His hand cradled her cheek as his thumb caressed her, nurturing and comforting. He locked eyes with her, ensuring she understood he wasn’t playing games. "I want you, Evie," he declared.
"I was afraid to admit it because it seemed impossible for me, for us, but I see you for who you truly are. I want more than this pretend relationship. If you’ll have me, I want to wake up next to you, to see you smile each day, and to share my life with you."
Evie hadn’t anticipated having such an impact on him; this wasn’t the typical Ezra she knew.
This man before her was different—honest and vulnerable in a way she never expected. The usual, prideful Ezra would never bear his soul like this. As he held her cheek gently, it felt like he was guarding her heart.
Given her past with men, doubt crept in. Could she trust him? Could she allow herself to believe this was real? She thought, her heart racing a thousand miles.
The moment was charged, her heart swelling with hope, but she wondered if she was truly ready to trust again.
"And what if you ghost me again? What if you turn cold and shut me out?" She raised her eyebrows in question.
And she finished, "I won’t be able to handle that" shaking her head slightly as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
Taking a deep breath, she stood up from the tub and stepped out, determined to leave his room. But just as she crossed into the room, she suddenly gasped—Ezra had grasped her hand, pinning it above her head as he loomed over her.
She met his gaze, eyes wide, his eyes reflecting the intensity of desire she hadn’t encountered before. Dark, dangerous, gleaming down at her.
"It won’t happen again," Ezra declared, teeth clenched as if he were etching his promise into her very soul, his gaze intense. "I promise you, Evie. I’ll always be upfront about my feelings and won’t leave you guessing again."
Evie held his stare, the silence between them charged and electric. "Ezra, you can’t just come to me when it suits you," she said quietly but with firmness.
"I heard what you said. All of it," he replied, cutting through her objections. "Now, you need to listen to me. I want you, Evie, and that’s final. I’ve thought this through and I’m all in."
"Ezra," Evie inhaled deeply, drawing in his scent as he moved closer.
She didn’t back away; she didn’t flinch. Yes, she felt frustration toward him for putting her in this position, yet part of her still craved his presence.
He leaned in to kiss her.
Slow. Deep. He seemed intent on filling the silence with everything they had yet to say. Evie responded, her kiss hungry and filled with all her unspoken feelings—hurt and longing.
When they finally pulled away, her lips were trembling, her breath unsteady as if he had knocked the air from her lungs. She locked eyes with him, unwavering. "If this is real," she said with conviction, "then you need to prove it."
"Then I’ll spend every second proving it" He whispered near her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "Starting now" He promised.
Then Ezra leaned in to kiss her again.
His kisses weren’t soft. It was fierce.
His lips crashed against hers with an urgency that signaled he had been holding back for far too long. Her breath momentarily halted as she responded, fingers tangling in his hair. He pulled her tightly against him, and when his tongue slid against her lower lip, demanding entry, she granted it without a second thought.
A quiet but undeniable moan escaped her, swallowed by him as the kiss deepened. His hands roamed freely—gripping her waist, exploring her back—as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to claim her first. She felt herself melting into him, into the moment, into the undeniable truth of everything between them.
***
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